Hell Hath No Hurry and other stuff report

     Ran a nice little event by the Pittsburgh Airport at Settler's Cabin Park called Hell Hath No Hurry this past weekend. Offered 12, 8 and 4 hour option with a 6 mile trail race thrown in. 6 mile loops on almost all single track trails with lots of hills similar to the monkey hills at Mill Creek. Sparse attendance but really a super event.
     No need for long drawn out race report. Pretty much ran 4-1/2 good loops followed by crappy, suffering until loop 7. Perked up with some company from a Pittsburgh college student originally from Spokane, Washington. Walked loop 8 and called it a day. Hot day!
      Plan was to try straight maltodextrin mixed with water as fuel on advice from some savvy trail masters. Car was after the aid station and through some poor planning never tried it. Hit aid station after loop 2 and there were doughnuts everywhere. It was glorious! Decision time. Malto or doughnuts. Savvy trail masters or Homer Simpson. Didn't Homer run a Nuclear power plant? Went with Homer and doughnuts. Stomach issues all day but probably more due to the heat than doughnuts.
     Interesting sidebar. On loop 2, as I passed through a picnic area, a big group was having self defense training. Come back through over an hour later and they are still going at it. Now though, they are hiding behind trees in this picnic area. One student is going through the gauntlet as banditos jump from behind the trees and fake attack. I must have watched for ten minutes. NEOTRAIL needs to offer this training! Many times I have run through the woods wondering if lurking behind the next tree is a masked ninja waiting to attack and steal my handheld. Awesome sight!
     Post race cookout and beer looked great but couldn't eat. Gary Sexton and Suzanne Weightman were there to chat with.
     Post-post race headed to IKEA to pick up a desk. I never realized Pittsburgh was such a culturally diverse city. There must be every nationality known to man in IKEA. There are Swedish people shopping in the Swedish furniture store in Pittsburgh. Ate Swedish meatball dinner, which was awesome.
      Post-post-post race, as in next day. Buddy has free tickets to Alice Cooper and Marilyn Manson in fricking Pittsburgh. Back I go. Partied like a rock star. Manson was awesome, Alice was Alice. Pre and post concert party with Alice drummer and guitar player. What a night! Home at 2am Monday morning and up for work at 4:30am. If weekend fun is inversely proportional to how one feels Monday morning then I had an epic weekend.
       In summary, try out Hell Hath No Hurry next year. Cool little event on some trails you've probably never seen. Enjoy what Pittsburgh has to offer. Get home before 2am and don't drink too much if workday starts a couple hours later.

Ryan Roxie(Alice guitar player) and Coach pre-blotto